Dentist: "This will hurt a little."
Patient: "Okay."
Dentist: "I've been sleeping with your wife for a year now."
An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it.
The American simply said, "I should say not. However, Niagara Falls would put that thing out in less than two minutes."
When you're over 60...
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you will likely be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.