Best Jokes

Why did the stop light turn red?

You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

Little Johnny is visiting an art museum with his parents. When they enter the main room, he observes a sign reading, "ART OBJECTS."

Johnny then taps his father on the shoulder and asks, "If art objects, why is he letting everyone look at his paintings?"

A scientist, wishing to test out the theory that music had tones to sooth the savage beast, takes a plane trip to Africa. Sitting on a rock in the middle of the jungle, he begins to play classical music on a small violin. Almost immediately, a large collection of animals, lions, monkeys, elephants, zebras, rhinos, birds, leopards and the like, begin gathering around and swaying happily to the music.

Suddenly, a crocodile ambles out of the water, leaps at the scientist and catches him on the throat with its mouth, causing him to pass out from the shock. The other animals glare at the crocodile disapprovingly. "What did you do that for?" a leopard demands. "We were enjoying that."

The crocodile looks up at the group of animals and says, "I don't know about you folks, but Stravinsky's Petrushka leaves me cold."