People say I'm condescending...
That means I talk down to people.
An Eskimo mother was reading to her small daughter in their igloo. She began, "Little Jack Horner sat in a corner..."
"What's a corner?" the little girl asked.
I always keep my guitar in the car now.
It's good for traffic jams.
A young nurse is watching an operation for the first time. "Excuse me, please," she asks the doctor. "But what are you doing?"
"This woman swallowed a golf ball," he replies. "And we're trying to remove it from her throat."
Noticing a worried looking woman seated outside, the nurse then asks, "And is she the patient's mother?"
"Actually," the doctor replies. "That's her golfing partner and she's waiting to finish the game."