Best Jokes

A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal."

The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy.

"Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?"

"Under the hay," was the response.

Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room

Me: How old are your kids?

Patient: 44 and 39 with my wife who passed away, and 15 and 13 with my second wife.

Me: That’s quite the age difference!

Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own.

Four golfers were approaching the clubhouse green when they saw two ladies approaching.

One golfer commented to another, "Here comes my wife with some old hag she's picked up somewhere."

"And here comes mine with another," retorted the other, icily.

Dad to his son: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!”

Son: “Go on, then.”

Dad growls: “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”

Son: “Dad, that’s Superman!”

Dad: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”