Best Jokes

An office employee knowing his boss was off for the day transferred the office telephone to his own cell phone and took it with him to play golf.

The boss called and asked how everything was going and the employee said fine.

The boss then said, "Move a little faster then, will you, I'm in the foursome behind you."

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office and the staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the skeleton in my passenger seat and belted it in so it wouldn't fall over... not even thinking about the drive across town.

At a stoplight, I could not help but notice a ton of people staring at my car. I rolled down the window and shouted, "I am taking him to the Doctor's office!"

A man standing on the corner shouted, "I hate to tell you Ma'am, but I think it's too late!"

A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?"

The dad replies, "Sure you are son. I'm all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear."

Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?"

She answers, "Of course you are honey. I'm all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear."

Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom... Grandpop... am I all polar bear?"

His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. We're all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?"

The baby polar bear replies, "Because I'm FREEEEEZING!"