A man and his wife cracked open their fortune cookies.
Hers read, “Be quiet for a little while.”
His read, “Speak while you have a chance."
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc... 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'’’
The doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.'''
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known...
And then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Today my doctor told me that my DNA was backwards.
I said, “And?”