Can you please stop asking Santa for the perfect woman???
I almost got kidnapped 3 times today!!!
Gladys: "Listen to this, Mable. This is what my boy friend says in his letter. 'Darling, I think of you all day. Your naturally waved hair. Your brownish-gray eyes. Your slightly prominent cheekbones and your twenty-four inch waist.'"
Mable: "Wow, that's a strange sort of love letter."
Gladys: "Oh, didn't I tell you? Bob writes those descriptions of people that are wanted by the law."
One Sunday after services one of the ladies approached the pastor's wife and commented, "What nice buttons you have sewed onto your sons jacket. My husband once had some like that on his suit."
The pastor's wife replies, "Why thank you for the complement. I get all my buttons out of the collection plate."
Teacher: "One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that?"
Little Johnny: "Future impossible tense!"