Best Jokes

Christmas time...

That time of year when many people are more interested in the present than the past.

My wife opened her first checking account and went out purchasing things for the house.

After a couple weeks the bank called her and told her she was out of funds.

In total shock, my wife exclaimed, "How can I be out of money when I've got all these checks left?"

When deer hunting you must sit still and be quiet for long periods of time.

That's why doctors are such good hunters.

They have lots of patients.

It's game 7 of the NBA basketball finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty."

"The first man exclaims, "What?!?! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?"

The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together."

The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?"

The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."