Best Jokes

Fred: Honey, I lost my car keys.

Marge: Again, we need to have a little talk about this Fred. Did you look on the key pegs in the kitchen?

Fred: Oh, there they are; I don't know what I'd do without you Marge. I swear without you I couldn't find the bathroom tissue.

Marge: That's another thing we need to chat about Fred.

Fred: Things would be fine if you didn't hide it in the bathroom.

Marge: I don't hide it, I keep it in the same place in plain sight. It's always right there on the top shelf.

Fred: You're right Marge, we do need to have a little chat about this.

What’s the first thing a person says when they spot a UFO or Big Foot?

"Honey, do we still have that one megapixel camera?"

The letters C, M, I, V, and X try to walk into a club.

The number 8 is standing menacingly at the door, pointing to a sign that says NUMBERS ONLY!

Quick thinking, the M says, "We're roman!"

What did the Sun say to the Moon?

"Whether or not you think you're hot, you're not!"