Best Jokes

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:

Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.

The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''

The assistant says, ''$2000.''

The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.

The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''

''What about the green one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''

''What about the red one?'' the man asks.

The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''

The man says, ''What does he do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*

After completing dinner, a husband carries his plate to the sink and starts washing it.

His wife looks at him in disbelief and says, "Honey, we are not at home. This is a restaurant."