Her: "I don't even know what the cloning machine does?"
Me: "Well, that makes two of us."
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair, and has a smile that makes everybody love him.
The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face."
The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report.
She replies, "Just because I reported him missing doesn't mean I want him back!"
I received a letter saying I would not be given the American Express credit card I requested because my income wasn’t substantial enough.
Oddly enough, I work for American Express.
How is a cat like a coin?
It has a head on one side and a tail on the other!