Best Jokes

$9.00 won 6 votes

If I had $1 every time someone over 40 told me my generation was the problem...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined!

6 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$9.00 won 6 votes

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to being brought breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

Finally, the children called her to come downstairs. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

6 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
6 votes

Homework! Oh, Homework!
I hate you! You stink!
I wish I could wash you away in the sink,
if only a bomb
would explode you to bits.
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're giving me fits.

I'd rather take baths
with a man-eating shark,
or wrestle a lion
alone in the dark,
eat spinach and liver,
pet ten porcupines,
than tackle the homework,
my teacher assigns.

Homework! Oh, homework!
you're last on my list,
I simply can't see
why you even exist,
if you just disappeared
it would tickle me pink.
Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!

6 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$12.00 won 6 votes

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?"

Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right."

"That's okay," replied Little Johnny. "You could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |