Best Jokes

I wanted to donate blood today but they ask too many personal questions...

Like, "Whose blood is it?" and "Where did you get it?"....

Thief had successfully entered the art museum on the second floor, where lesser known artists are displayed. After previewing the art, he selected a piece to take.

As he was making his getaway, one of the guards came up from behind, snatched the picture from under the thief's arms and slammed it down over his head.

"Now," said the guard, "don't you go and tell the judge that I framed you!"

My wife was upset when she told me she had failed her driving test.

I said, "Oh no, what did they pull you up on?"

My wife replied, "A rope. The car's still in the canal."

The teacher in Little Johnnys class approached him and directed he go to the principal's office. When he got there, the principle said to him, "Little Johnny, I've had complaints about you from all your teachers. What have you been doing?"

Little Johnny replied, "Nothing, Sir!"

The principal replied, "EXACTLY!"