Best Jokes

The mathematics professor noticed that one of his pupils was going from day-dreaming to sleep and back. He was oblivious and not following the instructions on the chalk board.

To recall his attention the professor said sharply: "Brown, Brown, board!"

Brown, startled looked up and replied, "Yes sir, very much."

A man brought some prescription tablets and started cutting off the edges.

Do you know why?

He wanted to avoid the side effects.

My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat."

"No, you're not," she scolded.

"My hair is awful," I said.

"It's lovely," she encouraged.

"I've never looked worse," I whined.

And she said, "Trust me sis, yes you have."

While sitting on top of a large pile of dirt, one bulldozer says to the other bulldozer, "Did the earth move for you too?"