Best Jokes

Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead.

He didn't return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our phone machine click on.

"Hi," a voice said. "This is Dad. I'm locked out of the house."

Teacher: What kind of wife would you like Johnny?

Johnny: I would want a wife like the moon.

Teacher: Wow! What a choice...Do you want her to be beautiful and calm like the moon?

Johnny: No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning.

Kid: Why is some of your hair white dad?

Dad: Every time you make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.

Kid: Now I understand why grandpa’s hair is all white!