Best Jokes

To increase his tips the local bartender posted the following:

PHONE NOTIFICATION FEES (ADD $1.00 TO INSERT NAME)

$1.00 HE NOT HERE!
$2.00 ON HIS WAY OUT!
$3.00 HE JUST LEFT!
$4.00 HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY!
$5.00 WHO?

PAY BARTENDER UPON ARRIVAL AT BAR.

Mom: Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?

Son: Well, it’s a sponge cake, isn’t it?

Teacher: What is a synonym?

Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!

Why were all of the ladies at the surprise party staring at the pair of handsome chromosomes?

Because they weren't wearing any genes!