Best Jokes

A woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a corrections officer, "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"

The officer laughs, saying, "Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!"

"That's not true!" she shouts. "He just told me he is been digging a tunnel for months!"

If a gang of robbers dove into a swimming pool...

Would that cause a crime wave?

Two old ladies meet for the first time since they left school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?"

"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, third to a preacher and I'm now married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"

"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"