What did the egg say to the whisk?
I know when I'm beaten.
After he lost a lot of money at a blackjack table in the casino, a customer stood up and yelled, "How do you lose $200 at a $2 table?!"
Before I could speak, another customer replied, "Patience... a whole lot of patience."
Always be yourself...
Unless you can be a pirate...
in which case, DEFINITELY be a pirate!
Bill's second anniversary was coming up and his wife Suzy had recently been upset about how much time he spent at the office. He needed a thoughtful gift to show her how much he cared.
Bill asked all of his clients and co-workers what would be a good anniversary present, and he eventually settled on a huge bouquet of flowers.
He wasn't sure he could pick the right flowers by himself, so he called a local florist and asked them to create a big, beautiful bouquet to be delivered the next morning with the following note "Happy Anniversary! Year Number Two!"
The following morning, Bill received an angry phone call from his wife Suzy.
"What is this all about?!" she demanded.
Bill was perplexed. He thought she would love the flowers.
"What's the matter with it, dear?" he asked.
She read the card aloud to him. "Happy Anniversary! Your number two!"