Best Jokes
Favorite this joke My dog had a bad case of fleas. So I brought him to the vet.
The doctor told me, “I’m going to have to put him down."
I said, “What? Just because he’s got fleas?”
“No,” the doctor said, “because he’s so heavy.”
Me: What's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first... No spaces, all lowercase!
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained. "It took us awhile to find a new pilot."
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small, deserted island one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands pulled out the message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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