Best Jokes

You should always be nice to your children...

...they pick which nursing home you go to when you get really old!

A fisherman carrying a lobster bumped into a friend on the way home.

“Where are you going with the lobster under your arm?” asked his friend.

The fisherman answered, “I’m taking him home to dinner.”

Just then the lobster spoke up, “I’ve already had my dinner, can we go to a movie instead?”

While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several of the nurses wore apple shaped pins.

I asked one of the nurses what was the significance of the pins.

She said, "Oh, these are to keep the doctors away..."

A husband and wife entered a dentist's office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.”

The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”