Best Jokes

You might not know this... but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in... but you can see right through them

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object... Because to get them to go anywhere.....you have to light a fire under their arse.

SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft......squeezable and retain water.

I hate telling people I'm a taxidermist.

If they ask what I do, I answer, "You know, stuff."

A seven-year-old boy dressed in his pajamas was safely pulled over by police after driving his mom's car 20 miles because he wanted to visit his dad.

The mother said the boy is really in trouble because he was only supposed to go to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and a pack of cigarettes.