My family wants me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes...
But I can't quit cold turkey!
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster?
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out!
What do cows wear when they are vacationing in Hawaii?
Muu-muu dresses...