Why do clowns hold books they read very close to their faces?
So their noses are well red!
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "Did she call you?"
"No, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, and where does the insult come in?"
"In the P.S.," she answered. "It said, 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"
"When is it bad luck to see a black cat?"
"When you're a mouse???"
A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?"
A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, "we got about two and a half inches of that."