Latest Jokes

A career Army officer I once met was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop. The flight was pretty rough, and after a while, the jumpmaster called off the jump because of high winds. As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick.

"How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn't handle the smooth landing?" asked the jumpmaster.

"Well, sir," one trainee explained, "We've always jumped out of planes. We've never actually landed before."

Five-year old Jeffery was sitting next to an elderly lady in church. When it came time to put money in the collection plate, the lady didn't have any money so she passed the plate on to the next person, who was sitting to Jeffery's right.

He watched the proceedings and finally spoke to the elderly lady, "We didn't want any did we?"

She had to contain her laughter.

I ordered a Thesaurus online and it just arrived.

The pages are all BLANK!!!

I have no words to express my outrage.

Instructor: You would be a good dancer except for two things.

Student: What are the two things?

Instructor: Your feet.