Latest Jokes

Q: What can you catch, but not throw?

A: A cold.

Q: What can be swallowed, but can also swallow you?

A: Water.

I hired a lawyer who claims to have never lost a case. We lost the case and I said, "Well, there goes your advertising claim."

He replied, "I got paid and I call that a win!"

"What if I don't pay you?" I asked.

"I advise you to pay. I'll take you to court, get a judgement for the money you owe plus expenses. I'd call that a win win!"

I said, "Okay then, what do I owe you?"

His reply, "$2500 dollars plus $350."

"What's the 350 for?" I demanded to know.

His answer... "The advice I just gave you."

I asked my doctor why it scratched the skin on the back of my hand when the dog pawed it.

He told me when you get older your skin gets thinner.

Happy to know this... it explains a lot about my disposition too.