A kid was a very good painter. Once a neighbor broker her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real.
She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid. The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and now I am in the hospital.”
Remember back when we were kids, and every time it was below zero outside they closed school?
Me neither.
Accountant: "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
Doctor: "Have you tried counting sheep?"
Accountant: "Yes, and that's the problem! I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it!"
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
He was outstanding in his field!