To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 30-30 rule.
After 30 minutes of work, quit your job and buy a 30 acre farm in the middle of nowhere.
Lady at hat shop: "I would like to buy the hat with the red apple, yellow bananas and purple grapes, please.
Cashier: "Certainly, ma'am, would you care for a hat box?"
Lady: "No thank you, I'll just eat it here."
Little boy: "Mommy, what happens when a car gets so old and rusty that it won't move anymore?"
Mom: "Someone sells it to your father."
A man is asking a farmer about his two cows.
Man: About how much milk do you get from them in a day?
Farmer: Which one, the brown one or the black one?
Man: The brown one.
Farmer: About a half gallon a day.
Man: And the black one?
Farmer: About a half gallon a day.
Man (looking puzzled): Ok.. what do you feed them?
Farmer: Which one?
Man: The brown one.
Farmer: She eats grass.
Man: And the black one?
Farmer: She eats grass, too.
Man (becoming annoyed): Why do you keep asking me to specify which cow when the answers are the same?
Farmer: Because the brown cow is mine.
Man: Oh, and the black one?
Farmer: It’s mine, too.