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"I've created a new computer that is almost human."
"You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?"
"No, but when it makes a mistake it blames it on another computer."
A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him.
"Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" the officer demanded.
"No, sir, but we don't land airplanes on the roof either."
You're in a casino, playing Blackjack (21), and the dealer shows a ten/face card. What medication do you hope the dealer is taking?
An ace inhibitor!