Latest Jokes

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging for a favor.

Dentist: Could you help me out? Could you give me a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Doctor, it wasn't at all bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"

"274," came the reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"

"Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"

"Nine," says the third man.

"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"

"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

At the diner, my breakfast arrived with only three sausages instead of the usual four. The waitress explained that the cook had dropped one and was making another.

Soon the cook dashed out of the kitchen. "Here you are," he announced. "It's the missing link!"

A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country's greatest works of art. Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.

At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. "Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted."

"Oh my, "the grandmother says. "He and I must have the same landlord."