Moe asked old Joe, "Joe, have your ever wondered about the hereafter?"
"Yes, I have wondered about the hereafter. Every time I go into my kitchen, I wonder what I'm here after?"
A Sunday school teacher wanted to stimulate her first grade class as the lesson started by asking them, "Do you want to go to heaven today?" All but one of the ten children raised their hands enthusiastically. Everyone but Susie.
"Susie, don't you want to go to heaven?" she asked.
"Yes, I do." Susie replied
"Well, why did you not raise your hand when I asked if you want to go to heaven?"
"I really want to go to heaven, but not with these guys," she replied.
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.
"He's a fake!" Veronica told her friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!"