My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the 'Painless' dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.
"He's a fake!" Veronica told her friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!"
Two ducks are in a pond. One went "Quack quack!" and the other duck said, "That's funny, I was just about to say that!"
Claude, the invisible man, was low on funds and started job prospecting. His employment agency called him into their office with a job opportunity.
"I think this would be a great job for you," said the counselor. "A mirror salesman."
"I don't know," Claude replied. "I just can't see myself doing that."