Latest Jokes

A farmer was running back home when it started to rain. Then suddently he slipped and fell into a muddy puddle.

Suddenly lightning flashed across the sky. The farmer annoyed shouted to the sky saying "First you get me wet. Then you put mud all over my clothes. Now, as if that wasn't enough YOU'RE TAKING A PHOTO OF ME !!!!".

A man and his wife were arguing over sex.

Man: Sex is work!
Wife: Sex is pleasure!
Man: I don’t blame you, you don’t know what men are going through.
Wife: All I know is that sex is pleasure whether you like it or not.

The argument lasted for a long time until they decided to invite their house help to hear his own version.

House Help: Yes Sir?
Man: Is sex work or pleasure?
House Help: Ehmmm. Boss, sex is pleasure because if sex was work, you would have called on me to do it.

A man asked a doctor, "Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the surgery?".

Doctor: "Sure, why not?"

Man: "Good, I couldn't play one before."

Once a foolish teen wanted to play Cricket with the local boys. They allowed him, and when it was his turn to bat the Wicket Keeper said, "You're holding the bat the wrong way".

The teen said that he knew. With the first ball he was out and the umpire raised his finger. The teen waved his own finger.

The umpire said "You're out!".

The teen replied "No I am not!".

The umpire said "Look one wicket has fallen down".

The teen said, "So what there are two more to go".