Latest Jokes

Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead.

The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck!" He shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmm... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking and brings the bird down. He turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see your fishin' license!" the Warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son,” said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir,” replied the young guy. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful.

"In ten years," I began, "you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now."

Carolyn shrugged, "That's okay, because in ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway."