“I’m worried about you always being at the bottom of your class,” said the father to his son.

“Don’t worry Dad,” he replied. “They still teach the same thing at both ends.”

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal, but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he wanted to be a part of it.

So one day, he began climbing. He climbed over the other Cheerios, and gradually got his way up the box. It took a lot of trying and determination, but eventually, he made it! He was so excited! And at the top of the box, there was the party, just like he had heard. He got to the dance line, and he danced.

He got to conga line, and he did the conga.

He got to the refreshment line, and ate refreshments.

And he got to the punch line, but there was no punchline.

Enticed by a television promotion, my wife ordered a popular exercise machine on a 30-day trial offer.

Two weeks later she decided not to buy it, and called UPS to arrange for pickup.

The next day the UPS driver arrived at our house. "Oh, no, not another one of these," he said. "All I've been doing is delivering these machines, then picking them up. The only person getting exercise from these things is me!"