Why are boardwalk models so thin?
It's so the outfit will look the same when you see it on a clothing hanger at the store.
I asked my psychiatrist why is it every time I eat sardines, I dream about being attacked by sharks. He answered, “It’s all about guilt and self payback.”
Considering how much money it cost for one hour of his time, he must dream about his watch turning all green and wrinkled.
An older couple is watching TV and the man kept changing the channel by mistake. His wife said, "Honey, you need to spend less time on social media. You do know TV doesn’t have a like button right?"
Grandfather: Back in my day we didn’t need all these fancy gizmos for entertainment. We had a cardboard box and played with it for hours; now that’s real fun!
Grandson Billy: Really ?!?!
Billy’s mother: Yes Billy, of course they had fun. We are talking about a generation of kids who also ate mud pies!