Mom: Having trouble with your computer, son?

Son: My PC says it can't see my printer.

Mom: I'm not surprised. Look how messy your room is.

Raining cats and dogs today...

Stepping into many poodles as I'm walking towards the bus stop.

Eating too much pi, can give you a large circumference.

A not-so-bright girl is flying in a plane when her pilot keels over. She calls out: "Mayday! Mayday! My pilot is dead!"

Air traffic control responds, "Don't worry, I'll talk you through this. What's your height and position?"

"I'm five-four and I'm in the plane," she says.

"Repeat after me," says the voice. "Our Father, who art in heaven...."