Song of Solomon is one book of the bible dedicated solely to romantic love...

Isn't it it ironic that its initials are SOS?

Daughter: I can't marry him, Mother. He's an atheist and doesn't believe there's a hell.

Mother: Marry him, my dear, and between us we can convince him that he's wrong.

While sitting through an exceptionally long sermon, little Donny was getting more restless by the minute. Suddenly in a loud whisper, he blurted out, "If we give him the money now, do you think he will let us leave?"

My mother-in-law sent me two sweaters for Christmas.

When she came for a visit, I put on one of the sweaters.

The first thing she said was, "What's the matter? Didn't you like the other one?"