A proud father never tired of telling how smart his son Arthur was.

“Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn’t say it until he was fifty!”

Suzie: Mom, I’m doing Geography homework. Where are the Andes?

Mother (not listening closely): How should I know? If you’d put your things away where they belong, you’d be able to find them when you need them.

Little Johnny was riding the elevator of a tall office with his mother and father. He tugged at his father’s coat and when his father bent over, Little Johnny whispered in ear.

The father frowned and shook his head. Little Johnny tugged at his father’s coat and whispered the same thing again.

“No,” said his father.

When Little Johnny tugged his father’s coat for the third time, his father lost his patience and said sharply: “I don’t care how Superman does it! We’re going up this way!”