The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him.
The judge gave me 15 years.
Problem solved.
You do not need a parachute to go skydiving...
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
I saw a man stealing groceries the other day while on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He got charged with shoplifting on two counts.