Past Winners

When all this pandemic stuff is over, I still plan to wear a mask.

It hides the perpetual look of annoyance I have for most people.

I arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?"

I replied, "Not at all."

"Good," he said, "Take these drinks to table nine."

I found the meaning of life.

It’s on page 937 in the dictionary between the words lie and lifeboat.

Two lady school teachers from Brooklyn, spending their sabbatical year exploring western Canada, stopped at a small and old-fashioned hotel in Alberta recently.

One of the pair was inclined to be worrisome when traveling, and she couldn't rest until she had made a tour of the corridors to hunt out exits in case of fire. The first door she opened, unfortunately, turned out to be that of the public bath, occupied by an elderly gentleman taking a shower.

"Oh, excuse me!" the lady stammered, flustered. "I'm looking for the fire escape." Then she ran for it.

To her dismay, she hadn't got far along the corridor when she heard a shout behind her and, looking around, saw the gentleman, wearing only a towel, running after her.

"Where's the fire?!" he hollered.