Past Winners

Anyone who says marriage is an equal partnership is talking utter bollocks.

I gave up my mates, my motorbike, drinking, drugs, gambling...

All she gave up was sex.

Research shows that men, on average, speak about 10,000 words per day, and women speak about 40,000.

What the research doesn’t tell you is that it’s not that women are actually saying four times as much, they just have to repeat everything that many times because men don’t listen.

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen planning dinner, and noticed that the clock had stopped. That really put me behind for my day, so today I decided that I'd better stop at the store for a AA battery.

I found a clerk, and said "Please point me to where the batteries are, I need one in my kitchen."

The clerk asked, "Is it for a clock?"

I said, "I don't know, that's why I need a battery."

A genie granted me one wish, so I said, "I just want to be happy."

Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.