Past Winners

How was Rome split in two?

With a pair of Ceasars.

The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper.

Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor---he invented some type of explosive."

Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall was some type of explosive?”

Landlady: “No, the inventor.”

I’m the best man at my buddy’s second wedding.

Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with, “Welcome back everyone!”?

The teacher noticed that Little Johnny had arrived at school wearing only one glove.

“Why have you only got one glove?” she asked.

“Well, Miss,” explained Little Johnny, “I was watching the weather forecast on TV last night, and it said it was going to be quite sunny but on the other hand it could get quite cold.”