Past Winners

The teacher asked Little Johnny if he knew his numbers.

“Yes,” he said. “My dad taught me.”

“Good. So what comes after eight?”

“Nine,” answered Little Johnny.

“And what comes after nine?”

“Ten.”

“And what comes after ten?”

“The Jack.”

An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.

After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"

Daughter: "My father always said he didn't like women that drove from the back seat."

Donna: "What did your mother say to that?"

Daughter: "She said that back seat drivers were no worse than men who cook from the dinning room table."

I asked my father-in-law, a crop duster, how his day had gone.

"I had just the worst day," he replied. "This morning I was up in my plane dusting a field when I nicked a power line and damaged the wing on the plane. When I got back to the office, my boss chewed me out. Then the guy from the FAA chewed me out. On my way home, I stopped at a bar and was handed a warm beer. So I yelled at the bartender, 'Don't you have any cold beer?!' The bartender said, 'Sorry, but we've been out of electricity all day ever since some idiot crop-duster hit a power line down the road.'"