Past Winners

An American enters a Swiss bank with a giant, heavy sack in each of his hands. He goes to the teller, brings his face close to the glass and whispers, "I have two million dollars with me. I urgently need to open a secret Swiss bank account!"

The Swiss bank teller replies in a normal volume, "Sir, there's no need to whisper. Poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."

Someone keeps dumping soil all over my garden bed, and I don't know who's doing it???

The plot thickens...

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do whatever I want?"

The father answered immediately, "I don't know. Nobody has lived that long yet."

Little Johnny comes home from school and tells his dad that he failed the safety quiz

Dad: What? How?

Little Johnny: I missed the only question

Dad: What was the question?

Little Johnny: What steps do we take in case of fire?

Dad: And what did you say?

Little Johnny: Well I said really large ones but apparently that's not right answer!!!