Past Winners

A man was staggering home drunk in the early hours of the morning when he was stopped by a police officer.

“What are you doing out at this time of night?” asked the officer.

“I’m going to a lecture,” said the drunk.

“And who’s going to be giving a lecture at this hour?”

“My wife.”

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

Ten-tickles!

My youngest son asked me how old I was.

I answered, "39 and holding."

He thought for a moment and then asked, "But how old would you be if you let go?"

After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th.

He looked at his caddie and said, “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.”

The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you could keep your head down that long.”