Past Winners

As I was admitted the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, "I'm going to give you a bracelet."

"Has it got rubies and diamonds?" I ask coyly.

"No," he said. "But it cost just as much."

One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane. When he jumped there was good and bad news....

Good news: He had a parachute.

Bad News: It didnt work.

Good News: There was a haystack down below.

Bad news: There was a pitchfork in the haystack.

Good News: He missed the pitchfork.

Bad News: He missed the haystack.

What kind of pastry needs a thesaurus?

Synonym Rolls.

As the pastor gave his pretty lengthy sermon, he noticed one of his parishioners dozing off.

After church and as they were leaving, the pastor jokingly asked the dozer if he got a good rest during his sermon.

The parishioner quickly responded, “Not really, someone kept talking all the way through it.”