Past Winners

An alcoholic wakes up in jail. He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"

I wish working out was like taxes...

You suck it up, do it once...

And then you’re good for a year!

Sometimes I like my steak under cooked...

But that's rare.

Why does a room full of married people look so empty?

Because there's not a single person in it.