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When you're over 60...
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you will likely be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
A Baptist and a Mormon were talking one day about the subject of polygamy.
The Mormon said to the Baptist, “Show me one verse in the Bible that forbids polygamy."
The Baptist said, “No man can serve two masters.”
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.
After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.
Lying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."
The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."
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