Past Winners

8am: Too tired to think.

Noon: Too tired to think.

5pm: Too tired to think.

Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?

A scientist, wishing to test out the theory that music had tones to sooth the savage beast, takes a plane trip to Africa. Sitting on a rock in the middle of the jungle, he begins to play classical music on a small violin. Almost immediately, a large collection of animals, lions, monkeys, elephants, zebras, rhinos, birds, leopards and the like, begin gathering around and swaying happily to the music.

Suddenly, a crocodile ambles out of the water, leaps at the scientist and catches him on the throat with its mouth, causing him to pass out from the shock. The other animals glare at the crocodile disapprovingly. "What did you do that for?" a leopard demands. "We were enjoying that."

The crocodile looks up at the group of animals and says, "I don't know about you folks, but Stravinsky's Petrushka leaves me cold."

American psychologists have isolated two fundamental reasons why men frequent bars.

1) They don’t have a woman.

2) They have a woman.

My friend asked me, "Quick! Quick! What's the ninth letter of the alphabet?"

I admit that I guessed, but I was right.