Past Winners

Son: “Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.”

Dad: “Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?”

Son: “Forget it, there seem to be too many requirements.”

Husband: Honey, I broke a glass in the kitchen.

Wife: I am coming with the broom.

Husband: It’s not urgent. You can come on foot.

While perusing a curio shop in Texas, Harold's eye is drawn to the skull of a horse sitting on a high shelf. "Pardon me, but what's this?' he asks the shops keeper.

"That," the shop keeper replies. "Is the actual skull of Trigger, the horse belonging to legendary Wild West hero Roy Rogers."

"How much is it?" Harold asks.

"This little gem is $3,000."

Harold hadn't wished to spend quite that much, so he asks the shop keeper if she had anything cheaper, upon which she reaches under the counter and takes out a smaller horse skull. "This is only $500."

"Well, that sounds like a good deal," Harold replies. "Whose skull is it?"

"It's Trigger's skull from when he was just a colt."

When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too.

Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he'd found inside the dryer. He didn't know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job.

"I have the other parts," the clerk said, "but for the wire you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife's bra."